In this video, The Critical Drinker lays out every single detail of what he belives went horribly wrong with Netflix's attempt at a remake / loose sequel to He-Man and the Masters of the Universe. Suffice to say, almost EVERYTHING went wrong! But what was especially grueling, was how the trailers for the show went to extreme lengths to deceive audiences! They thought they were getting straight-up He-Man, looking more awesomesauce than was possible in the 80s cartoon. What they got...was The Ruse of Soywalker Part 12: Reeeeeee!
And this excuse for a cartoon from Wokeflix accomplishes something else in-between snorting condoms and devouring Tide Pods: demonstrating everything Volkonir tries not to be!
Sure, Volkonir was modeled primarily after Saban's Masked Rider, but with his Golden Lion suit having a slight resemblance to a Big Bad Beetleborg mixed with a Mystic Knight of Tir Na Nog. However, the parallels between Prince Vinny and Prince Adam are hard to ignore:
- Defenders of a magical kingdom.
- Earth friends
- Archenemy is an evil sorcerer king with a hood and robe. And a cheesy voice.
- Hero is blonde, and wields a magical sword.
- Hero summons powerups from seemingly out of nowhere, and has an arsenal he can summon.
- Hero has lots of plucky sidekicks, including a really awesome female sidekick.
- Henshin heroes
But that's about where the comparisons between Volkonir and He-Man come to an end. Still, here's where Volkonir really sets itself apart: refusing to play zero-sum fallacy games with woketardation! And refusing to pander to LGBTQPIZON perverts! Especially refusing to let pandering to them interfere with the quality of storytelling!
Kayla vs. Netflix Teela
Kayla doesn't need constant validation from everyone. If she disappears from being the center of attention for THREE DAYS, she really couldn't care less!
Yes, she's a bit horny and manipulative, and wants Vinny's attention. All bad habits she learned when she had to rip off the Fast and Furious movies to survive on the streets. But she's not over-the-top nor self-absorbed. She just wants her crush to return her affections - and her lust.
Yet, when more important things are happening, she stops thinking of herself and her desires, and starts thinking about what's important. She knows that unless she finds Silnya Semaphry's missing mogriffer, that she'll always be playing second fiddle to Volkonir in the powers game.
But here's the thing with that: she DOESN'T CARE! (What Woketards would call "blasphemy.") And she also proves that she doesn't need to be a lesbian to act cool either! Kevin Smith and the Netflix crowd seem to think that only lesbians are allowed to look cool, let alone actually be cool! Because if you don't have a butt buddy, you "don't count" to the Woketards.
At day's end, if Gwirmalesh and the other Gwirdons are defeated, Morlikus is restored to his throne, Cortascius is restored, and Earth no longer faces Gwirdon-related threats; then little else matters.
And Kayla knows what she wants; but is also mature enough to realize that she isn't ENTITLED to what she wants - even if she gets pretty desperate at times to get Vinny to knock boots with her! But when the universe keeps cock-blocking her; she accepts that it's God doing it for a good reason. This humility is what makes her worthy to succeed Silnya as the Crystal Swan Knight, in spite of her family-unfriendly faults and criminal history!
Making Kayla awesome does not require Volkonir to suck
As for Volkonir: He's a bit clueless about modern American social norms, and a bit of a naive manchild. He's also really bad at watching his back. But otherwise, he's a solid, capable combatant. Not a perfect man; but not a completely useless idiot either. He isn't whiny, and never feels like he needs to apologize for his mere existence. Yes, he can be a little dense sometimes; but Kayla watches his back and doesn't mind explaining to him. Endowing him with her street smarts to make up for his lack of them is what helps her feel important. Sure, he does screw everything up once when defending the Candle of Hope; and Gwirmalesh promptly humiliates him. But he gets a redemption arc - one that actually redeems him!
Yes, when he goes to rescue Kayla in the beginning of season 1, she ends up having just as much agency as he does in her own rescue, even fighting Hiktomoph without powers! And she briefly gains the upperhand, long enough to buy Volkonir time to get there and convince Hiktomoph to retreat!
Hanom is comfortable in his second fiddle
Then there are the secondary wheels. Dr. Hanom knows he's the brains behind the good guys; but lacks the brawn to be a warrior. He's content to be the guy in the chair.
Masato doesn't need to trample whitey to elevate himself
The token Japanese member. Masato is like Vinny in the worst ways: sometimes arrogant in combat, headstrong, and clueless about American social norms. But he is a true equal to Volkonir. The only time they truly scuffle, is when they can't agree on Tarantrum's right to live. Otherwise, these two are easily able to be respected heroes in their own right, without one ever feeling the need to dethrone the other to prove superiority. Envy doesn't rule them. Envy is the deadly sin to which Woketards are enslaved in full. They cannot comprehend existence outside of it!
Masato and Vinny can both be Chads - sort of. Whiny losers like the Twitterati can never understand nor appreciate that.
Girly girls don't have to be warriors to be badass
Vanessa is nothing remotely smacking of an action woman. But she knows her office position as Hanom's secretary gives her all manner of passive-aggressive power. Instead of abusing it on spiteful envy of the men, she uses it to blindside their enemies in ways that no one else could have guessed possible.
But Vanessa isn't a total wuss. She was the one who sent the Bison to the Zhong Kui dimension - a feat not even Kayla was brave enough to attempt! And walked back to her boring office job like nothing happened, as if it were little more than a brief stint of janitorial duty!
Vantina seeks to earn, not merely to take
Let's not forget Vantina Rumastik. The Crystal Swan powers rejected her for being a vampire; but she took it in stride.
She is later gifted with becoming the new Spectral Hare Samurai, after the fall of Masato Yoneda. Yet, she never once believes that proving herself requires her to steal the thunder of any of her teammates.
Vantina never assumes herself automatically superior to them either, even if she can do things they can't. Instead, when she replaces Masato, she reveres him as a warrior - and starts taking samurai discipline courses so she can better honor his legacy.
She doesn't use her additional vampire powers as an excuse to blow off the need to learn what Masato once learned. Rather, she takes it as a challenge: to see if she truly can learn to pretend like she isn't a vampire, and that being Masato 2.0 is all she can hope for. That way, when she is both vampire and samurai, she will be worthy of both!
Carlos understands personal sacrifice. Woketards don't.
And then let's not forget Carlos. He goes through his own redemption arc. He was the son of a violent drug kingpin; but wanted none of that legacy for himself. He ran away from the cartel, knowing that he'd put his mom in danger doing so. He also knew that helping Vinny defeat the Gwirdons meant putting himself in constant danger.
But while he's not particularly strong, smart, or much else; his determination to do what he believes is right sees him through. This is why he's blessed by Morlikus in season 3, and becomes the new Red Serpent Knight to replace the fallen Crimazol. What he lacks in the beginning, he earns over time. His mother doesn't even fault him for wanting to forsake his father's criminal empire!
And Lenny, to make them reee until you can hear it from the edge of space!
Then there's Lenny. Not as anti-authority as he may seem; but he was fully convinced the CIA and its shadow puppets were turning the US government into something demonic.
All he really wanted, was to see that evil defeated. But if he couldn't; he'd settle for ridding the universe of the Gwirdons.
He never envisioned being anything more than God's instrument of holy war against tyrants and demons, assisting others in their battles while he hid from the feds while inside a computer lab inside an RV down by the river in some remote part of Montana. One lonely doomsday prepper versus a world full of monsters and evil dictators. Knighthood under Cortascian monarchy was unthinkable to him for most of his life. But he accepted it when he realized it was what he was truly meant for.
Furthermore: he fully believes humanity is all from Adam and Eve, and that "race" talk is a social construct. There is no "white" supremacy; only obedience to God supremacy - which is universally constant for all mankind!
The shrieking eels cannot stand that!
Kevin Smith = TOTAL FAIL
THAT is how you do fantasy right, Kevin Smith! No lesbians, no whiny and self-centered female protagonists who have to steal all the thunder and glory away from the men just to prop themselves up! No idiotic, self-absorbed lack of empathy from Teela, no soy milk, no making men apologize for existing, no blind worship of women, no demonic female haircuts, no making all women hate all men, NONE of that!
And YET, my female characters are STILL awesome, even when life doesn't always go their way! Even without huge egos! Even without cringe, arbitrary promotions happening immediately to make them equal to or better than the men in the picture! They're different; and they find a way to be awesome in their own right in SPITE of it!
They don't envy; they LEARN! And they accept that the spotlight won't always belong to them. Yet, the men don't lord the spotlight over the women either! They RESPECT women too much to do that! Being on top isn't about pushing others around, deserved or otherwise! And that's something Marxists cannot wrap their thick, pigheaded skulls around.
MUTUAL RESPECT! NO ZERO-SUM FALLACIES! THAT is how you do it right! Woketards never learn. And now, they're set to destroy Ghostbusters - AGAIN! Because 2016 wasn't already an abomination!
Dozerfleet may need a lot more time to get Volkonir off the ground. But rest assured, it's already better than the woke trash we get today. What used to be an amusing, sometimes education night out at the local theater; has been replaced with merciless propganda for Pol Pot ideology. Will Americans be smart enough to do to the new Khumer Rouge what should have been done to the first one, before it ravaged Cambodia? Time will tell.
